How do you feel today???

[Larissa]

First of all:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JARHARA !!!!
May all your wishes and hopes for the next year come true!

Have a great day, no matter what you do.
And if it's "only" listening in to Tobi's show with a nice glass of wine or something else you like and maybe some good company.

I know we spoke last night but guess who called me today?
My Immunologist. I won't be going in for my tests this month as she said i'm not strong enough. So we shall reschedule. Remember how i said i was terrified and was considering chickening out, i didn't have to!

Nice.
Life found a way for you to avoid it without you having to feel bad about it .

Did you sniff him?

I was wondering when that question would come up ...
Yes, I did. But not intentionally!!!! I have to stress that point!!!
When he put his arm around my shoulder and leaned in, I had no other choice.
Either his shampoo or his aftershave has a strong note.
Hard to describe but it smelled very nice .

Can i come as a Witch?

Yes, please.
With a broom and a pointy head and everything else .

My mum hasn't improved much at all.

Oh no
Sorry to read that!
I hope she will feel better soon!
And everybody else in your family, inculding you.
Sounds like some sort of virus is going around.

How do I feel today?
Tired. Despite the sunshine and blue sky.
My stomach problems affect my sleep. I wake up early, I have weird dreams ...
Today, I ate an apple for lunch.
Bad mistake, now I feel like crap.

But I refuse to let this post end on a negative note!
Therefore, on the bright side : The short story I worked on for two weeks has been accepted by the publisher and will be
published in the next Sci-Fi-Anthologie in 2017.
Small victories .

[Jarhara]

First of all:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JARHARA !!!!
May all your wishes and hopes for the next year come true!

Thank you

how do i feel:
tired for a start, i woke up at 3 AM and had to realize that this was not becauseof the exitment over my brithday but because my throat hurt....
so long story short, i got sick.....
but despite the fact that my body feels like shit, i am happy (kind of)
i won't be able to drink anything special and i have no idea if i'll be able to stay awake to listen to Tobi's Radioshow.
But i've realy enjoyed my presents so far: A new Turntable for my LPs and it looks so great^^ and a Comic by Jhonen Vasquez (not expensive but hard to come by) and my brother had to overdo it, as always ^^
so, yeahr a lot of thoughtfull gifts, even my brithday-tabel was looking great (i didn't even know that there is "EMP"giftwrap^^)

[Muppet]

it's the 5th October

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JARHARA!!!


I know i sent you a PM BUT it needs to be said and celebrated out in the open.


I hope you have an amazing day and an amazing evening listening to Tobi. Know i'll be on the other side of the world listening in and hoping you are enjoying yourself and sending the best of wishes your way.
I had a cupcake in your honour today.
With pink frosting. Sorry if you don't like pink but it is done and i must admit after a while of trying to be a good girl, food wise, it hit me hard, the sugar... I'm still twitching from it!!!

Life found a way for you to avoid it without you having to feel bad about it .

Actually, she said to me: "I can hear the relief in your voice! "
This was the second time i had to cancel due to not being strong enough. I've got that flu/virus thing that my entire family have been dealing with for the last 3 weeks and it has finally hit me hard with vengeance. It's going around down here like wild fire apparently. And thank you, i hope mum and the rest of us feel better soon too.


So yeah, my specialist also told me to keep my germs to myself and stay well away from the hospital!

Yes, I did. But not intentionally!!!! I have to stress that point!!!
(...)
Hard to describe but it smelled very nice .

YAY!


There is no harm in sniffing someone. Unlike you, i sniffed Tobi INTENTIONALLY when he stuck his arm around me and i slid mine around him. There was no way in hell i was NOT going to sniff him.


He smelt good too but it was more a masculine musky smell, like when you nuzzle into the base of a guy's neck, with a touch of coffee as he was drinking coffee. I didn't really smell aftershave on him even if there was the tiniest whisp of fragrance... Maybe soap/shampoo/shower gel/deodorant. I couldn't tell you. I mostly smelt a natural Tobi smell. Either way, it was extremely pleasant.


And yes that IS super creepy of me but if i am to be honest, i smell everyone and everything. I have a very highly developed sense of smell/taste. One of my exes used to hate it, as he could never sneak up on me. I could smell him a mile off!!!

My stomach problems affect my sleep. I wake up early, I have weird dreams ...
Today, I ate an apple for lunch.
Bad mistake, now I feel like crap.

Gosh, i hope they find out what is wrong and can fix it so fast!
I hate reading stuff like this.
I wish there was something i can do.
Sending healing thoughts your way!

The short story I worked on for two weeks has been accepted by the publisher and will be
published in the next Sci-Fi-Anthologie in 2017.
Small victories .

Wooooo-hooooooooooooo!!!!


All the small victories lead to bigger ones.
I'm so happy and proud of you!
Well done and Congratulations!



How am i feeling?
Germ infested.
I'm just waiting to see how bad i get sick wise.
I've been super cranky today also.

[Muppet]

how do i feel:
tired for a start, i woke up at 3 AM and had to realize that this was not becauseof the exitment over my brithday but because my throat hurt....
so long story short, i got sick.....
but despite the fact that my body feels like shit, i am happy (kind of)
i won't be able to drink anything special and i have no idea if i'll be able to stay awake to listen to Tobi's Radioshow.
But i've realy enjoyed my presents so far: A new Turntable for my LPs and it looks so great^^ and a Comic by Jhonen Vasquez (not expensive but hard to come by) and my brother had to overdo it, as always ^^
so, yeahr a lot of thoughtfull gifts, even my brithday-tabel was looking great (i didn't even know that there is "EMP"giftwrap^^)

Awe, how crappy that you are sick on your birthday!
I hope you feel better soon!


Sounds like a great start to the day otherwise.


If you fall asleep, let me know.
I'll hopefully record today's show as i might be heading out a little early tomorrow.
Our daylight savings has kicked in already so it's an hour later for us, finishing wise.

[Jarhara]

I had a cupcake in your honour today.
With pink frosting. Sorry if you don't like pink but it is done and i must admit after a while of trying to be a good girl, food wise, it hit me hard, the sugar... I'm still twitching from it!!!

i don't like pink but it's okey... but, well.. if it comes to cupcakes...
if you want to know my problem with cupcakes (especally pink or rainbow ones) listen to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hE8d3e_MuiQ (but be warned, you may never want to eat one again.. ^^)

And yes that IS super creepy of me but if i am to be honest, i smell everyone and everything. I have a very highly developed sense of smell/taste. One of my exes used to hate it, as he could never sneak up on me. I could smell him a mile off!!!

everyone has their weirdness.
i never smell anyone, cause mostly i don't like what i smell.... but my nose must be pretty sensitve, too. when i was seeing Lordi live, i could smell the latex from their costumes from about 10 meters away

[Aywen]

Happy birthday Jarhara!! You've got awesome presents Enjoy them and get well soon

I was going to write more but I feel super sleepy so I'll leave it at this.

[Larissa]

tired for a start, i woke up at 3 AM and had to realize that this was not becauseof the exitment over my brithday but because my throat hurt....

Poor you .
It's not nice to be sick on your special day.
Hopefully, you will feel better soon.
Glad you enjoyed your presents.
Sounds like your brother put a lot of thought and effort into his .

(i didn't even know that there is "EMP"giftwrap^^)

Maybe it the X-mas giftwrap from Rock Hard magazine.
They gave it out last year with their X-mas special edition.

All the small victories lead to bigger ones.
I'm so happy and proud of you!
Well done and Congratulations!

Thank you, Ness .
I am very happy!
I had so much fun writing it and it simply felt right from the beginning.

How do I feel today?
Still tired and I have a headache. Thanks to the change in weather ...
But the weekend is almost there and I will go to the movies after work and later to a friend's birthday party.
Looking forward to both .

[Muppet]

if you want to know my problem with cupcakes (especally pink or rainbow ones) listen to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hE8d3e_MuiQ (but be warned, you may never want to eat one again.. ^^)

Ohhhhh Jarhara!
I listened to part one but refused to listen to part two because that was just wrong... A little bit of my childhood was destroyed!


I still like cupcakes though... I'll just bake them myself!

i never smell anyone, cause mostly i don't like what i smell.... but my nose must be pretty sensitve, too. when i was seeing Lordi live, i could smell the latex from their costumes from about 10 meters away

I must admit not all smells are welcome or pleasant.
But i would have been disappointed if Tobi smelt bad... I mean, he's hot. You gotta sniff the ones that appeal to you! Or at least i have to!


And i would totally understand you smelling that latex. People that have a dulled or normal smell perception don't seemt o understand just how strong or offensive something as simple as a magazine/newspaper can be. My mum used to read it in the kitchen table with breakfast and i could smell it in the lounge. If you are sensitive, you are sensitive. Can't be helped.

I was going to write more but I feel super sleepy so I'll leave it at this.

I hope you got enough rest!

Still tired and I have a headache. Thanks to the change in weather ...
But the weekend is almost there and I will go to the movies after work and later to a friend's birthday party.
Looking forward to both .

I hope the weekend brought you relief.
Those plans sound nice, i hope you have an amazing time.

How do i feel?
Like death warmed up.
Between my spine and this sick viral/flu/infection thing i have going on and the antibiotics i'm on AGAIN, i feel so wiped out. I have been ordered with very strict instruction to remain in bed for an entire week... I'm already going nuts and i still have at least 4-5 days left!!!

AND to make it worse, the weather is FINALLY warming up after weeks of chill and rain, so it would be the perfect time to do my planting in the garden as i am already late BUT i'm friggin' sick and completely broken! Anyone want to come and sew my pumpkins, squash, zucchini, beans, carrots, tomatoes, cucumbers, celery and radishes for me? I know i have forgotten some others BUT i'll manage that myself eventually!
*sigh*

[Jarhara]

today, i feel sad and angry....
actuelly, everything is going perfect right now (i'm going to meet all my friends at the book fair next weekend) but that is only preventing me from going mad right now....
one of my co-workers had to remind me of a certain someone...
my car's radio didn't make it better...

This Is Letting Go / Rise Against: "The path I carve from here on out will be my own"
Draconian Love / Avantasia: "Leaving me down here, lost in the waves"
Ready To Fall / Rise Against: "I know I've been gone for what seems like forever"

i guess i need more happy songs on my car-playlist

[Muppet]

today, i feel sad and angry....

one of my co-workers had to remind me of a certain someone...
my car's radio didn't make it better...

Ohhhhhhhhh!!!
I don't want to ask more... No, i'm lying. I DO want to ask more but i'm more than happy if you tell me it is none of my business and not something or someone you wish to discuss.

This Is Letting Go / Rise Against: "The path I carve from here on out will be my own"
Draconian Love / Avantasia: "Leaving me down here, lost in the waves"
Ready To Fall / Rise Against: "I know I've been gone for what seems like forever"

i guess i need more happy songs on my car-playlist

EVEN HAPPY SONGS CAN DO IT!
My friend and i have a private joke about the 'Media player Oracle'!
YES, MEDIA PLAYER!
That's how old this joke is, from like 2004 or something. Maybe even earlier!
No matter what we would be discussing, the songs would change to match it. Or our thoughts/moods.
That's why we called it that.
We even put it on random and asked it questions and hit next to see what would come up next on our libraries... THAT WAS FREAKY!
And hilarious!!!
If you ever see me refer to "Opening the Media Oracle Player", you now know what i mean!


If it makes you feel any better, i received an email today from a guy that is from some years ago and i hadn't heard from him in years either as i found out he was married with a son... So that ended THAT very fast. I was extremely fond of him... He sent only 2 sentences and this was the 2nd:
"Do you ever think of me? I do of you … fondly of course."

I've mixed feelings and i know i should be pissed but i'm not.
I HATE THAT I DON'T HATE HIM!!!


I do hope you are having a better day, today.

[Jarhara]

I don't want to ask more... No, i'm lying. I DO want to ask more but i'm more than happy if you tell me it is none of my business and not something or someone you wish to discuss.

i don't know when i'll get the time to do so, but i'll sent you a short version of the story as a PN

My friend and i have a private joke about the 'Media player Oracle'!
YES, MEDIA PLAYER!

i still have media player on my "new" (maybe 2 or 3 years old) computer so.... but i rather use Media Go, juat because of the lyrics option....

but i have a joke like this, too. things like taht always happen with my car's radio (i call it "my Car did a thing" or "my car has a mind of it's own")
just a few examples for that:

-when i drive to work i have to drive past a graveyard (and most of the time, it's still dark) my car likes to play songs like "ain't no grave", "fear of teh dark" and "garve circumstances"
-when the temperature drops down to less then 10 degree celsius, my car starts playing christmas songs
-once i had to drive my familly home through a thunderstorme, my car radio played "alive" by meat loaf (i'm still alive, mus have been a mirical) then followed by "when the wild winds blow".. all that was missing was "thunder and lightning" but i bet it would have been next
-the one time my boss had talked my into working the saturday-shift my car greeted my with jorns voice singing "It's you who makes decisions, I just open up the doors"
-last time i was coming home in the rain, while parking into the garage my car starded playing "shelter from the rain"

and thats just to name a few so... yeahr.. i guess i should try to use my car as an oracle^^

[Jarhara]

this moring i asked my "car oracle" what kind of day today will be. i hit next on teh radio and it played "The Realms Of Baba Yaga"
at first i didn't know what to make of it but... pfff.... this was a crazy day for shure....
we had a team meeting and one of my co-workers snaped... he acted like a 5 year old and ran out of the room. the rest of teh day he spent rambeling about everyone and accused us all of saying the exact oposite of what we where realy saying...
now the wokrshop is devided in two groups, it's like a civil war! and i am not kidding...

also, how is it that after a team meating a lot of people feel angry and betrayed? i usually feel more confidend in my work after i got told what i was doing right and what not.....

i am so glad, i have tomorrow off, caus i have no idea if i can play nutral for much longer

[Muppet]

this moring i asked my "car oracle" what kind of day today will be. i hit next on teh radio and it played "The Realms Of Baba Yaga"
at first i didn't know what to make of it but... pfff.... this was a crazy day for shure....
we had a team meeting and one of my co-workers snaped... he acted like a 5 year old and ran out of the room. the rest of teh day he spent rambeling about everyone and accused us all of saying the exact oposite of what we where realy saying...
now the wokrshop is devided in two groups, it's like a civil war! and i am not kidding...

OMG IT MUST BE THAT SONG OR PHRASE!

That was the Tweet from Tobi on Twitter that all shit hit the fan with those people that have been harassing my friends and now me. And it is EXACTLY like you described. Acting like children. Gosh, that is hilarious!

But yours is a more serious situation as that can't be a healthy or motivating environment for anyone to work in. Maybe it is time your HR department had a word to your management team and organised some team building exercises? Maybe you should suggest that to your HR manager, if your manager won't listen to you, and explain how 'uncomfortable and disappointed' you are in the whole situation. ALWAYS keep a level head. They will listen to you if you talk to them, not yell at them.

I hope it improves for you.


I must admit, i like your Car Oracle thing. That made me laugh a lot. Thank you for sharing that with me/us.


How am i feeling?
Well besides my sucky spine situation which just is NOT getting better. I thought it was during the week but i was wrong. I'm really at a loss for what to do. It's been over 5 months now of intense pain... I'm so scared it is going to stay like this from now on. There should have been some sort of improvement by now, if even just a little.


THEN i have that guy, from my past that contacted me.

I decided to email back as i DID want to know how he is doing and what's been going on.

We exchanged a couple of emails and he is still married BUT he kept hinting as 'us'. For the record i didn't know he was married or had a child when there was an 'us' and when i DID find out, i ended it swiftly. But i thought maybe after all this we could be civil and be friendly as we DID have hilarious conversations for hours on end BUT when he finally wrote this at the end of his last email: "I think about you sometimes when I wake up in the morning with … well you know. You were always so good and yet so damned bad...."

I just called him out on it and asked him what exactly he wants from me and why he got in contact with me again after all these years. What was he expecting, although i am sure it is VERY obvious, just like i told him... I haven't heard back from him since!

I really do think i am a magnet for the wrong kinds of men...
*sigh*

Oh well... Life goes on.


Jarhara, i'll respond to your PM tomorrow. I'm not ignoring you sweets!

[Aywen]

Aww Muppet, maybe I should send you that get well card

That car oracle thing sounds funny, but a little scary with so many coincidences
That's an awful situation Jarhara.. I hope people calmed down a bit during the weekend do try to stay out of it and I hope things will improve soon.

I'm fine. Last week I've had a few really good days at work - for the first time I was really enjoying it and I was super focused. On Thursday I was startled by someone saying 'good evening' when it was time to go home. I had completely forgotten about the time. It feels strange after five months of going there either feeling like shit or indifferent to it all. I hope I'll have more of those days. Today was a strange day though. Everything went by soooo slooooow... I have done things but it feels like I have done nothing but holding a sneeze contest with my brother - who can sneeze the loudest? I think my brother won but it was a close call

[Muppet]

Aww Muppet, maybe I should send you that get well card

NOOOOOOOOOO!
I have a postcard with the stamp on it and all... But it is empty as i am waiting for something interesting to happen for me to write to you about it! Being stuck in bed and house bound isn't overly exciting and certainly does NOT provide much for me to write about... It is getting to the stage where i am even jealous of the leaves on the trees in front of my bedroom window. They get to throw their freedom in my face daily by dancing in the wind and rain, then basking in the soft Spring sunshine to dry off!


I loved that card/letter you have ALREADY sent me.

I had completely forgotten about the time.

Ohhhh i used to LOVE days like that. I AM SO HAPPY you are having better days Anneke, and i hope they continue to get better and more interesting for you.

I think my brother won but it was a close call

You should make him wear a golden nose charm on a gold chain around his neck!


One of my brother's always sneezes in threes!



I still feel the same. I woke up in slightly less pain but feeling extremely weak. Then i did a few TINY things and then the severe pain was back. Anyway, i just have to keep smiling and keep looking forward. Life has no meaning without hope, right?

[Jarhara]

so, the situation in my workshop has calmed down but only because the guy who snapped is on vacation. i hope he comes to his sences while he is away.

other then that i have this strange combination of beeing happy and depressed at the same time... i had a realy awsome weekend but now it's over.... this is exactly how Tobi discribed his feelings after the tour had ended... i just can't put it in words as well as he did

[Jarhara]

I feel bad, cause i was mean to a friend of a friend and now i am not shure if he deserved it or not.
about 2 years ago, he used to pick on me a lot and until recently i was verry shure that he hated me. But, like i said, that was 2 years ago and i doubt he even remembers that was me...

as for my work... it's the calm befor the storm, there will be war and everyone knows it... luckyly i have next monday off.. so if i am verry lucky i won't be there when shit hits the fan

[Aywen]

Aww Muppet, maybe I should send you that get well card

NOOOOOOOOOO!
I have a postcard with the stamp on it and all... But it is empty as i am waiting for something interesting to happen for me to write to you about it! Being stuck in bed and house bound isn't overly exciting and certainly does NOT provide much for me to write about... It is getting to the stage where i am even jealous of the leaves on the trees in front of my bedroom window. They get to throw their freedom in my face daily by dancing in the wind and rain, then basking in the soft Spring sunshine to dry off!

Well you put that almost poetically But no, I understand. Take your time.. I know you don't have much choice in the matter but I'll be patient. I hope something nice will happen soon - more for you than for me of course

I loved that card/letter you have ALREADY sent me.

Oh and I already know what card to send you next - not that I want to rush you, not in the least! I saw it in a store in Utrecht once. I won't be going there soon and I have no idea if I can still find it (the card I mean, I know where the shop is). I didn't buy it then because I didn't know who to send it to but I think you might like it. (sorry if I'm making you too curious, I'll spoil the secret if you want to know )

You should make him wear a golden nose charm on a gold chain around his neck!

What a great idea!

I still feel the same. I woke up in slightly less pain but feeling extremely weak. Then i did a few TINY things and then the severe pain was back. Anyway, i just have to keep smiling and keep looking forward. Life has no meaning without hope, right?

My mum always said: think of all the things that you CAN do. Even if they are small and little things, I'm sure there's lots if you add it all up.

so, the situation in my workshop has calmed down but only because the guy who snapped is on vacation. i hope he comes to his sences while he is away.

as for my work... it's the calm befor the storm, there will be war and everyone knows it... luckyly i have next monday off.. so if i am verry lucky i won't be there when shit hits the fan

So not much hope of this person coming to his senses? Well you all know him... This really sucks. I imagine everyone is on edge even when he is not there because you all think of what might happen next week... Anyway I'm glad you won't be there on monday, let's hope things will calm down after that...

I feel bad, cause i was mean to a friend of a friend and now i am not shure if he deserved it or not.
about 2 years ago, he used to pick on me a lot and until recently i was verry shure that he hated me. But, like i said, that was 2 years ago and i doubt he even remembers that was me...

Do you see him often these days? If you won't see him for another two years, forget about it, I'm sure he will
Of course people change and it was some time ago, but I understand if you don't want to give him a second chance. Don't blame yourself. If you see him again you can start anew and see how it goes.

I feel okay but it was soooo cold at work today! I moved to another desk in the afternoon next to the heating. Still not exactly warm but much better. Can't wait to climb in a nice warm bed

[Jarhara]

Do you see him often these days? If you won't see him for another two years, forget about it, I'm sure he will
Of course people change and it was some time ago, but I understand if you don't want to give him a second chance. Don't blame yourself. If you see him again you can start anew and see how it goes.

well.. he is the best friend of one of my firends (one that i spent quite a lot of time with, at the moment) and it seams im running into this guy more and more often... he even starded to chat with me just when he is bored and our common friend isn't on... i never know what to say... i like that he doesn't remember what evere it was that made him hate me.. but i am scared that he might remember some day....
i don't want to keep on fighting with him, as he can be a realy nice guy if he wants to.

[Jarhara]

i have no idea what to do about this... i keep talking to my friend but i feel lik i should tell him.. but on the other side, i can't just go "hey, you know, your best friend is acting like an asshole around me". especally cause my friend does not even remember the arguments, that his friend and i had in front of him...
i recently told him of one thing, that his friend did but i just said that it was "someone".. he seamed kinda upset about it and agreed with me that this was a bad situation... but i just don't know if i should tell him that this "someone" was his friend...

i should just stop thinking about this guy but i just can't... i would realy like to be friends with him, too. but first i need to know what's his problem with me... but i am to afraid to ask... questions like this usually make things worse for me